Modernhyena: Fred Basset

Many years ago—1999-2000, to be exact—before joining the last remaining viable comedy entity in print, I tried my own little publication called 'The Modern Hyena Reader.' It was a 'zine', as the crusty elaborately-haired kids say now, that I made while working at the copy shop. There were 2 print issues. When my employers began to notice all the missing clicks, I went online. 'Modernhyena.org' lasted for, oh, about 6 months. Here's something that ran in the online edition (as always, click the pictures for larger versions):

PERVERTING THE WORK OF OTHERS: WE LOVE YOU, FRED!

Sure, we all love Fred Basset. That irascible, irrepressible canine curmudgeon (and his hysterical, outrageously incomprehensible adventures) has found his way into all our hearts without having to be funny or even make sense. But if there is one lesson I have learned in life that stands higher than the others, it's that there is no thing that cannot be made better through contumely and foolishness. It is in the spirit of bettering a good thing that I present the following ways in which Fred Basset might be made funnier, more insightful, and generally more engaging as an art form. First, here is the original comic, unaltered in any way.


As you can see, Fred is in pickle again. "How," you may rightly ask and not be admonished for it, "could this be improved upon?" Well, I imagine that Fred's appeal is greater in England where, presumably, his life is penned. I know that humor is more sophisticated in the British Isles and less prone to the sentimentality and sensationalism of American humor. He is Benny Hill to our The Simpsons, fine wine to our moldy old nasty sewer slime. Still, this thoughtful British humor could stand further definition for the unrefined American palette. In this example, I have heightened the sense of well-mannered whimsy found in English wit:


This is more in line with the refined and cultured drollery found in such high-minded and well-respected novels as Emma, and Lady Chatterly's Lover. Source material is not to be found only in the writings of the Empire's most distinguished scriveners, though. Here is an example for a more dramatic direction in Fred's ouvre, in the bitter style of Steinbeckian desperation:


As we can see here, the tension betwixt Fred, the weather, and his nameless owner is sufficiently heightened. Fred, ever the intellectual, mourns the loss of his youth as his slow but well-meaning owner encounters poignancy without pretension. The wife gazes silently on, bravely cheerful while inside she is dying. This is just an example, of course. Mr. Alex Graham (who, by the way, is the author/artist of Fred Basset) could probably do much more with these themes. One hallmark of Fred's never win, never surrender journey is it's occasional obscurity. Sometimes Fred is confusing and nonsensical. It is assumed that this is to keep his character ultimately undefined and open to any dramaturgical state-of-affairs. Perhaps a healthy move into this realm could be arranged. A push into the void may awaken Fred's existential awareness in the face of a world hostile to authenticity and enflame post-modern mores:


As you can see, we have tripped the light fantastic without wholly abandoning Fred's proletarian roots. Still, metaphysical and allegorical sojourning don't pay the bills. Service in the cause of intellectual enlightenment is basically volunteer work, so we may need to turn to a more commercial application of Fred's weltanschauung. Following trails blazed by regular American programming we might allow Fred's world to become a stage for topical events to play out, day after day, with storylines ripped from the headlines.


Fred's struggle for acceptance now becomes our own, and we can refer to every strip as 'A Very Special Fred Basset.' We can expect Fred's adventures as a hip young black female lawyer/artist living in a Manhattan loft and teaching Feng Shui to inner city sass-mouthed kids to show us our own foibles, and to make us laugh at our pain. It is in this way that Fred may change the world, after all. Also, the product tie-ins could be very lucrative for whatever company it is that collects revenue from Fred Basset. Again, we must reiterate that these are only suggestions. I would not presume to understand the Fred Basset monad, nor to reingineer the dynamic beloved of all children everywhere. Here's to you, Fred.